While most of this blog will be full of programming content, some will be about my family and how I think of the family dynamic. My childhood was very interesting, not only from growing up in a military family, but also having to deal with two divorces. A lot of these experiences have shaped my perception on how a family should work and some people really won’t like what I have to say.
With technology allowing people thousands of miles apart to communicate, the traditional family dynamic has changed. Families have moved further and further apart and some might argue that’s driven family closeness apart, I would actually agree. I live 4500 miles away from my grandparents and it sucks, but I also think that families should also make decisions that benefit the immediate family, such as moving to a different area.
My wife and I have decided that moving to a different state would not only be good for my career, but also our children. We both value education, areas with healthy lifestyles, great diversity and these factors have played a role in the decision we made. My family has been more receptive to the idea, we’ve moved to a completely different continent, however my wife’s family isn’t too happy. They would rather us stay here, and while I understand the want for that, we need to make decisions that are better for my wife, the kids and me. Even today we still aren’t too sure where we plan on moving, I still need to graduate and find a job, but location will play a large part on where I plan on looking for a job.
Just last week my wife has been dealing with kidney stones, which she has said that she would rather give birth than deal with this again so apparently they really suck. This whole issue has caused a big divide in respect between my wife and her family. I really don’t want to get into details because honestly it’s already done so it doesn’t matter anymore and it is personal family conflict so I’ll leave it at that, but I will say things were definitely handled poorly. This issue has solidified the reason that moving will be better in the long for us.
Parents will always want whats best for their kids, I understand that, but sometimes you just have to let them do what they want. You can’t control everything, people have to make mistakes to learn and maybe what they’ve done really was for the best, that’s not for you to decide as a parent. I’ve seen this happen in my own family. My mother would let us learn the hard way if that’s what was needed and I can say that sometimes I really needed that and I’m thankful she did that for me.
I’m really looking forward to the next few months, it has a lot in store; graduation, the kid’s birthdays, job searching, brewing more beer, programming and learning more about life. It’s a journey and that’s how I plan on treating it, it’s not about where you’re starting but where you are going and why.